Marriage Admonitions
(Prior to his daughter's marriage, Mr. Richmond put into her
hands a paper of directions for her future conduct, which, for
simplicity, affection, and sound practical wisdom—may be
considered one of the best dowries that a Christian parent could
bestow on his child.)
My much-loved daughter,
When your sister Mary left her paternal roof, I gave her a paper
of admonitions, which I requested her to read often. I do the
same for you, in the form of a friendly string of maxims, to
regulate your conduct in your new and very responsible
situation.
1. Aim at keeping a devoted heart for God in the least and most
common transactions of every hour—as well as in those events
which may seem to call the loudest for manifestations of
Christian prudence and principle.
2. Pray regularly and frequently, not seldom and
occasionally—for grace to live by.
3. Remember the Christian principles and examples of your
father's house, and everywhere endeavor to preserve its
character, by consistency in conduct, conversation, and temper.
Keep in constant recollection—the wise, prudent, and
conscientious example of your dear mother.
4. Form no hasty friendship; and none whatever, but such as may
promote seriousness of heart, tongue and life.
5. Beware of cheerfulness degenerating into levity. Let no
natural vivacity of temper, no occasionally indulged sallies of
humor and jocularity—throw a shadow over the exercise of solid
principle. Little foolish things give a color to character, and
are more easily imitated, than serious and good sentiments.
6. Guard against hasty judgments of character, and above all
against uttering hasty opinions, and making remarks to the
disparagement of others. Particularly avoid making the errors,
failings, faults, or follies of others—the subject of rash and
unguarded remarks. Be known for charity, forbearance, and
kindness. Be slow to judge—rather than swift to speak.
7. Wherever you are, in the first place, remember that God's eye
is upon you; and then imagine also that your husband and father
are present. It may be a fanciful—but it is a profitable
supposition.
8. Keep Christ's golden rule, "Do unto to others—as you would
have them do unto you" in perpetual remembrance. It is the
panacea for most of the social evils of life.
9. Be conscientious towards all; friendly with few; confidential
with fewer still; strictly intimate with fewest of all.
10. When you think of your father, bear with his infirmities and
pardon his faults—but remember his principles and instructions,
so far as they have been agreeable to the Word of God.
11. Do not be content with anything short of deep, sincere,
diligent, and decided piety.
12. If you and your husband happen to differ in opinion or
feeling on any point—remember whom you have promised to love,
honor, and obey—and this will settle all things.
13. Of your husband's warm affections towards you, I entertain
no doubt—strive to preserve them by daily elevation of
character; and not so much by fondness—as by prudence and
dignity. May you both learn to raise a home of marital
happiness—by mutual wisdom and love.
14. Observe great simplicity and plainness in dress. You should
be a pattern to others in this respect. There is a just
complaint made of many females who profess to be pious—that they
are far too showy and mirthful in their outward apparel.
Remember the apostle Peter's injunction, "Your beauty should not
come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the
wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be
that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and
quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."
15. Christ has been made known to you fully and freely; let
Christ be your all in all, both now and forever.
Receive my parting advice in love, and be assured, my beloved
child, that it comes from the affectionate heart of your dear
father.
- Legh Richmond, (1772–1827)
